dissgussting asked: Being with her hurts my heart more than when I was alone, but I love her more than the sun, the moon, and the stars. She makes me happy, but she kills me too. What is this feeling?
Pretty sure it’s called a destructive relationship.
I am surprised by how much sex I have had in my life that I didn’t want to have. Not exactly what’s considered “real” rape, or “date” rape, although it is a kind of rape of the spirit - a dishonest portrayal or distortion of my own desire in order to appease another person.
I said yes because I felt it was too much trouble to say no. I said yes because I didn’t want to have to defend my “no,” qualify it, justify it - deserve it.
This breaks my heart
I want to just drive anywhere and everywhere and keep moving and not stop moving and sit by rivers at night with street lamps and hold sparklers in my hands with gloves and watch the reflections and feel damp grass at night and hear my shoes scuffing across pavement and inhale cold hair and exhale plumes of warm breath into the darkness.